Relationships

HOMEGROUP STUDY NOTES                

w/c  13th March 2022                              Relationships(Matthew 7:1-12)

Ice Breaker

Ask your group members to think about their communities. What is a community and who is part of their community?

You could ask them to use a ripple diagram to get them to think about this; an example of one is shown below;

This passage seems at first sight to refer to disparate areas of life but a closer look reveals that all the different parts refer to the relationships we have with our community and also with our Father God. Jesus seems to assume here that his followers will be living within community settings where we may not always find it easy!

For the study I suggest you read the different passages and then discuss that passage before bringing it all together at the end.

Read Matthew 7: 1-5 – Our attitude to our brothers

This passage talks about judging. However this passage is not suggesting that there should be no law courts or that Christians should not act as judges in a court of law. This is referring to our personal responsibilities to the members of our close community i.e “Our brothers”

Question 1: What kind of judgements about those around us are we tempted to make? Encourage people to think about judgements we make for example based on appearances, background or the context of where we meet them.

Question 2: Does Jesus mean that we need to suspend all our critical faculties in relation to others? To suspend all our critical faculties would not be in line with Jesus’s teaching asking us for example to beware of False prophets  (Matt 7 : 15) or later in this passage determine who are like “dogs” and “pigs” (verse 6).

It has been suggested that Jesus’ command to “judge not” is referring to being censorious. The censorious critic finds fault with others in a negative and destructive way. He or she claims the authority and competence to sit in judgement on others. Paul also refers to this in 1 Corinthians 4: 4-5 commenting that it is the Lord who judges.

Question 3: In verse 2 Jesus says that we will be judged by God with the measures we use to judge others. Do we think that we can often be most critical of the traits we see in others because we know that they are the patterns of behaviour we most want to change in ourselves? For example criticising others for being mean with money when we know we struggle ourselves to be financially generous.

Question 4: verses 3 to 5 is a hypocrisy parable also found in Luke 6:41- 42. It is a comical picture but do we actually find it difficult to identify our own faults? If no-one is perfect, then is it ever appropriate to talk to our brother or sister when we see they are making a big mistake?  (Matthew 18: 15-16)

Hypocrisy is of course something which is talked about a lot at the moment in relation to our national leaders, although we should possibly be mindful of this parable?

You may want to discuss under what circumstances and how we might go about talking to a brother or sister about an issue without falling into the hypocrisy trap described in this parable.

John Stott suggests that: “ In all our attitudes and behaviour towards others we are to play neither the judge nor the hypocrite, but the brother, caring first for others so much that we first blame and correct ourselves and then seek to be constructive in the help we give them”

Read Matthew 7 verse 6 Our attitude to “dogs” and “pigs”

This verse is quite a contrast to the teaching surrounding it.

Question 5: Who do you think Jesus is referring to here as “dogs” and “pigs”? Do point out that the dogs around the Middle East in Jesus time were not the kind of pet dogs we have, but the kind that hunt in packs and scavenge for food. Pigs were animals which were considered unclean to Jews.

Question 6: Something that is sacred and valuable pearls are the things Jesus says we should not give to these people. What kind of things is Jesus talking about here? You might want to think about Jesus’ parable of the pearl of great price here ( Matthew 13: 5-6).

Maybe we should not be persistently offering the gospel to those who keep trampling it under foot, although I would suggest that the people Jesus is referring to here are very rare. Mostly we should be patient and persevere with others when talking about the Gospel.

Read Matthew 7: 7-11 Our attitude to our Heavenly Father

We now move on to a wonderful promise which Jesus makes about communicating with our Heavenly Father. Jesus again uses a parable to explain what he means when he refers to the familiar situation of a child asking for something from their parent.

Question 7 Do you think this promise about prayer is rather presumptuous in that our Father God is interested in the small things in our lives? If not why not?

Question 8 If God who created us knows what we need why do you think Jesus is telling us to ask him for what we want? Encourage your group members to refer to the child /parent parable in answering these questions.

Question 9 Sometimes God does not give us what we want, why? God gives us gifts that are good for us and those around us and we don’t always know what is good for us in the long term. A father, even one who is not a particularly good one will only give “good gifts” to his child.

Read Matthew 7: 12 Our attitude to all men

This is sometimes referred to as the “Golden rule”. It is also referred to in Luke 6:31, although in the context of some more specific instructions about treating others including our enemies. This principle was also one known to have been referred to in Jewish teachings, although the negative was emphasised i.e. do NOT do to others what you don’t want them to do to you. Considering how we would ourselves like to be treated in a given situation is always helpful but it can also be challenging.

Question 10: Can anyone share a time when using this principle has helped them to adapt their behaviour or attitudes?

Referring back to our relationships with our community. I suggest you could use this opportunity to pray for our relationships with the people around us. Ask God to help us to be generous, never harsh, empathetic and kind to all of them. Of course we are  all in need of God’s grace and Holy Spirit to enable us to do this.

                                                                                                                   Liz Marlow Feb 2022